Despite Good Intentions

Despite good intentions there is always a pile of newspapers cluttering up my counter, ready to go in the recycling bin.

Despite good intentions there is a growing pile of laundry to be washed every day.

Despite good intentions my son throws his clothes on the floor everyday...perhaps he will grow out of that by the time he turns nine, I can only hope.

Despite good intentions I still had to throw away a bag of lettuce leaves when I cleaned out my fridge this weekend.

Despite good intentions I still have not read past chapter one of Anna Karenina, I can only hope I get through it before the movie is released in Canada.

Despite all this, failings though they might be...the journey to a more intentional minimalistic life is on going. I didn't say it would happen over night.

Just like my journey to health and a balanced way of eating didn't happen overnight, so the journey to live intentionally with less continues. When you live with a vibrant and active family, it has to be a team effort and everyone has to be on the same page.

With good intentions my son emptied the recycling bin under the sink this weekend
With good intentions my daughter helped make dinner last night.
With good intentions I packed up another bag of clothes to be passed on.
With great intentions my husband swept the kitchen floor last night.

The children are learning to think of their "stuff" as temporary perks of life, and when they have outgrown their clothes, read their books and played with their toys they are growing used to the idea that they can't hold on to them. It is time to let go and give them away to others, pass them on.

That in itself is a great victory, particularly for my daughter who was reluctant in the past to even part with the recycling!

It is a journey, not a state of perfection! It takes a shift in mindset before it shows up in reality.

So it is WITH good intentions that we are making progress as a family.

The curse of the Display Cabinet.

A friend who lives far away, told me about how she had picked up a teapot and some teacups and had made a habit of enjoying her tea in the morning. With a jolt I realised that I was missing out on the same enriching experience. I had reduced my tea drinking experience to a mug and a teabag, (tea connoisseurs gasp in horror) and I was losing out on the wonderful ritual of a good cup of tea, savoured and enjoyed.

I had been struck with the curse of the "Display Cabinet." There sat 5 beautiful, antique teacups gathering dust. What is the point of having your best china under lock and key when you could be enjoying the God-given moments in life to slow down and be conscious of them, as they happen?

Once inspired, I extracted two of my "good china" cups and have been making my tea in my teapot from Beijing. It is a small one and perfect for just me. When I pour my tea each morning, I think of my dear friend who gave me that teapot and I think of her. Although I am pouring a cup for one, from a teapot for one, I am not alone. Whether I am drinking Green Tea, Jasmine Tea, Mate' Tea or Rooibos Tea or just plain old Orange Pekoe my consumption of it has become a treat, a wonderful experience which slows me down each day to think about what is important in life and those people who are in my life.

 Not only is the tea comforting, but my heart is warmed when I think of the friendships which have grown over a cup of tea. A dear friend of mine came for tea and brought with her, not only her caring heart, but a tin of rose tea. I think of her when I enjoy that fragrant tea and remember the conversation we shared that day.

Sometimes it is not only our teacups that we hide in the display cabinet, but our hearts. Afraid of getting chipped and used, we keep them behind glass doors, almost as if to say, "You can look, but you can't touch, you can't come too close." How many moments do we miss out on in life, all because of the curse of the "Display Cabinet"?

My Teacups are no longer gathering dust in the display cabinet. I hope that I will pledge to be like that in other areas of my life too. How about you?



By Melony Teague
www.melonyteague.com
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Overnight Minimalism

My daughter has just become a minimalist. She is 10 years old and I have to say it happened overnight, literally.

It was not exactly planned, it just happened. She had been experiencing anxiety at bedtime and everything in her room appeared to her to be "alive." You know how it is when you imagination gets the better of you? In her case, she worked herself up so much that she would get sick to her stomach, just from nerves. Through it all, she is learning to face her fears and work through them.

After a few nights of trying to deal with these night terrors in other ways we finally decided to remove everything from her walls, from her room and to completely empty it except for the bed, the closet and her bookshelf and lamp.

It worked, she is less anxious and does not want anything to find its way back into her bedroom. Now you have to appreciate that this is a total 180 degree shift from her normal pack-rat self. In the past I would have a hard time wrestling away a piece of cardboard for the recycling bin.

Something changed, the catalyst was an undesirable fear of the dark or of the unknown lurking in her bedroom, but it was change nonetheless and for the better. Her room is clean and tidy and restful.

If an 10 year old can benefit from getting down to the bear minimum, so can we. She has ample clothes, a few toys and crafts and her beloved books. She is happy.

This whole episode got me thinking about the process of minimalism and how it really does bring a sense of restfulness when we live purposefully and without clutter to crowd in on our minds and create extra visual stimulation.

This weekend I De-cluttered my kitchen one more time, and I will have to go back and keep doing it, pairing things down until I am at a point where I can really say that I am at my comfortable minimal state. The point of minimalism that I have to remind myself is not De-cluttering as much as living with the minimum so that there is space in my mind, heart and world for what is important. It is about living intentionally, with more focus on the intangible, than the "stuff" I own.

I am also going to stay away from the grocery stores for a while, why? I have a fulls stock of food in my cupboard, and want to use up what I have and LET GO of the fear of "not having enough" or of "running out" and it is an opportunity to come up with some really creative recipes.

For instance, this is one I developed today:

 For the recipe click on the link below.
Chocolate G-Bean Delight.

Will I become a minimalist overnight? Probably not, but it is a work in progress and when I see how my daughter adapted, I know there is hope for me to find that place too, out of the forest, into the world of the simple bonsai.

4 Ways to beat Back to School Challenges

As the sun sets after another day, it is also setting earlier.

Despite the denial that the Summer is almost over, I am gearing up for the Back to School frenzy. The air is cooler and the days are shorter and as much as we hate to admit it, summer is drawing to an end. What does that mean exactly? For one, it means that I have to start making the shift to get everyone in the household going to bed earlier and getting up earlier in the mornings. All this to avoid the jet-lag effect of the "first week of school" routine. For one thing, it means that my ongoing quest for a more streamlined life will rev up a bit when I kiss the kids goodbye and wave as I turn them over to the school for the day. More time to work on getting rid of excess!You can be sure that I will get stuck in and not only organize, but purge. The minimalism principle is not merely to order and organize your stuff, it is to minimalism, pair down, prune and purge until only the meaningful and important things remain. This in order for your mind and heart to be clear and at peace and less distracted by clutter and material belongings. It is about choosing "Quality" over "Quantity" and doing so with purpose. Speaking of Quality vs Quantity: I am going to go through one more sweep of our clothing closets and get rid of the excess! Although I have made progress, I still spend way too much time a week doing laundry. Time to cut back a little more.

 How do I plan to prepare for the back to school madness? Here are some things on the list to do:

1. Have a plan ready for introducing healthier foods for kids lunches. That means it will take more of my time, and more thought but for the sake of my kids education and well being I am happy to make the shift. This will mean eliminating prepackaged snacks full of unpronounceable ingredients and replacing them with real food. Their concentration will increase and introducing Omega 3 foods will help them with their increased brain activity. Think "brain foods" mom! Bear in mind most schools are a nut free environment so planning needs to be made for that fact too. Get creative with foods, cut sandwiches using dinosaur shapes if you have to. Keep lunches interesting.
2. Have a plan in place for a neat and tidy way to have clothes ready for donning in the morning, and extracting these from the closet, coordinating them by colour or style and having them ready the night before.
3. Have a plan in place to have breakfast as nutritious and sugar free as possible. At the moment my kids know that we have a sugar limit when we buy cereals, but I think it is still too high at 10g per serving. I want to get it down more. Preferable to only 4 - 6 g. Setting the table the night before is a good routine to get into and training the kids to do it is even better.
4. Have a plan in place for homework time and those chaotic 5 minutes when the kids rush through the door and dump everything on the floor. You know what I am talking about. Let us not stress ourselves too much, shall we? I hope to prevent such stress by training the kids to put their shoes and coats and whatever else, where they belong. Rewards will be great for complying. In our house, nothing happens until after homework is done. No exceptions.

Now if there is anything hindering the implementation of these plans, take a long look and eliminate the hindrances. Whether they be physical or not. Clear out, cut back, simplify all these processes and in so doing decreasing the stress and fuss in all of these things. Getting back into routine after a carefree summer is a challenge for everyone. There will be bumps along the road, but take heart, kids adapt quicker than we as adults do.

The Cure

 

 

Why do we do it to ourselves? All this hassle and fuss just to go away camping. If I for a moment thought that I had made a mistake and that I should call off my journey to simplify our lives, then this weekend cured me forever.

Tripping over boxes to look for camping gear is not my idea of preparing for a getaway.

You can be sure that the next time our annual camping trip comes around everything that is essential will go with us and anything that is not, will not be piled up in our basement "just in case." So much wasted energy goes into storing stuff "just in case" we need it. It makes the thought of packing up to go away seem like a nightmare. There is a fine line between taking too much and not taking enough, and that is where planning comes in. I have found that using bins to put the essentials in really helps and for us they need to be transparent tubs. In one tub goes the food preparation tools which are far less that last year...if I did not use it, it got removed from the tub. In another tub, yes only one tub, goes my daughter's clothes and in the other, my son's clothes. That is it! In Summer they live in swim suits anyhow. One tub for my clothes and another for the beach towels. One tub for groceries and one for dishes, cups, tongs etc. In a small tub goes medications we might need, bug spray and sunscreen.

How about if it rains, what then? Ever been camping with kids in the rain? And no they are not taking electronic games with, we are on a non- electric site and besides, camping is a NO ELECTRONICS ZONE. Besides having my cell phone in case of emergencies, electronics will not infringe on our family time. The essential entertainment tub holds books, board games and a few toys.

See how serene and peaceful this scene is, that is out destination. The goal is to make the journey there just as appealing.

Gone are the days when we took everything including the kitchen sink. That's not camping, that is transferring your house to a campsite. What fun is in that? To be quite honest, the only reason that we make the effort to go camping is because of the children and the wonderful memories they store up. You can't put a price on memories and experiences that they will remember when they have grown up and have their own offspring.

I want them to remember the wonderful times away from it all, not the stress mom and dad went through to get them to the campsite.

5 Ways to Keep the Momentum Going

Here are 5 ways to keep the momentum going in your quest for a simplified and minimalist lifestyle.

So you got all excited about this new thing that seems to be the answer to your predicament and everything seems to be going smoothly, you have tossed out some garbage, you have organized a few drawers and closets, you've even donated a few things. You were off to a good start, and then things got a little hectic. The Summer got hot and life got busy and things just got in the way of your plans. The momentum slows, and so what do you do to keep up the momentum and avoid the frustration that comes with slow progress?

The problem could be that the task seems to overwhelming or you just don't know where to start next. Or we see the results of our work so far and it is so pleasing that we are tempted to set up camp and enjoy the view. Only problem is, we are only half way up the mountain. Settling for less than the best is so tempting when there is a long hike ahead of us. The view from the top of the mountain is way better, so grab those rubber gloves and garbage bag and let us keep moving.

1. TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR PROGRESS

If you are feeling frustrated because you seem to be slowing down in your progress, take heart. Go back and remember just how many items you have donated, cleaned up or tossed. It is easy to forget. Make a list of all the things that you have improved, donated or tossed. When you feel discouraged, bring out the list to remind yourself of how far you have come.

2. KEEP YOUR PERSPECTIVE POSITIVE

A few days ago I saw a photo of a snail on top of a tortoise, and the snail was yelling "Wheeeeee!"  I chuckled as I got what the photo was trying to say. It was illustrating the idea that perspective is everything. Celebrate whatever small victories that may arise.  What seems to you to be slow progress, is progress nonetheless.

3. TELL OTHERS ABOUT WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO

This is where you put yourself out there and are held accountable for what you said you would do. People will ask you soon enough, "So, did you get rid of that box of faux flowers you said you wanted to donate?" What will your answer be? Using this tactic is almost like blackmailing yourself into getting a task done. If you are someone who values being a person of their word, this works well. It motivated you to do what you said you would do. (It works for workouts too by the way.)

4. TAKE BEFORE AND AFTER SHOTS

Everybody loves those makeover shows where someone gets a new look, or when a team come in and makeover a space. You have the opportunity to have your own little "Show and Tell" and share with others the progress you have made. The contrast between the before and after shots will keep you motivated and excited. In addition to this, photos give a different perspective of the space, so you may look at the "after" photo and suddenly notice where further improvements can be made.

5. BE REALISTIC

Be realistic with your time, energy and goals. As they say Rome wasn't built in a day and so your project will not be completed in a week either. You are in it for the long haul, so pace yourself and enjoy the journey. Resist trying to tackle too much at once, you do not want to exhaust yourself producing counterproductive consequences. If you have time and energy constraints, just do one drawer or one area a day. Pick a project that is manageable in the time you have available, and just keep on doing it. Take this process one step at a time and relish each step and each phase.

You are worth the effort to pursue your desire for a simpler life, and a clearer mind. That means making room for the meaningful things in life. Pick one thing from the list and start there.

Report back in the comments section of this blog, we would love to hear from you. Keep up the momentum and you will see that each little step of progress will amount to a more noticeable change.

Soon you'll be looking around beaming at the progress you have made, the momentum will have kicked up a few notches and you will be on your way.

I'd love to hear how it goes, post in the comments section.

By Melony Teague
www.melonyteague.com
To subscribe to my consolidated newsletter, Click here

Amazing Simplicity

 

From Forest To Bonsai

This is the story of my personal journey out of the forest... Towards the simplicity I crave symbolized by bonsai. 

Amazing Simplicity

It took me by surprise. The notion that simplicity in and of itself is something that has had a place in the shadows for quite some time now, and it is time 'she' is called back into the spotlight.  Why do we look down on her as if she were unworthy of a place of honor in the sun?

Instead of saying, "The simpler the better" we have bought into the mentality that says, " The more sophisticated, the better." We are bombarded with the 'newest, best thing' and we buy into the marketing ploys at every turn. How about the "10 ways to do, be or achieve this or that" lists that end up on our bookshelves?

I realized something while I was watching documentary of a Siberian man as he carved out a dugout from a tree trunk using traditional tools and traditional methods. These methods have been tried and tested over centuries and they work. I watched them construct a hunting cabin from logs, moss and mud with little more than a chainsaw, and a few axes. They had no access to fancy equipment, but they possessed the skills they needed to survive in the wilderness. I doubt a local modern carpenter would be able to construct a shelter such as this one without his gadgets and tools. The skill of these simple, rugged and rural carpenters with their limited resources was astounding. Occasionally there may be one who has sufficient, specialized training. It really isn't about "what you have", is it? It is about your skill, your discipline and what you do with what you have.

So should we look down at simplicity and turn up our noses at her? She deserves to be heard, she deserves to be rewarded. Her plea to use only what we need and no more, no longer falls on deaf ears as we each do our part to live simply, give generously and use our resources responsibly.

Simplicity really can be quite an amazing thing in so many ways.

 

You are a work of art, and you get to choose the colors of your palette.

 

One day I tweeted the following:

"When I reach my goal of living in minimalism, I'm buying myself the ultimate symbol of minimalism, a bonsai." 

Julien Smith's reply was: 

"The ultimate irony."

At first I laughed at the irony. And then it hit me....

Here I was stuck in the forest, when I yearned for the simplicity of one lone bonsai. Suddenly I knew where I was going and how I was going to get there.

 It turns out you don't just 'buy a bonsai' otherwise known as a "Mallsai" and this I found out early on in my research.

Brent Walston's Bonsai website was where I started my research on Bonsai and this is what he said:

"Don't 'buy a bonsai'. That is a poor way to begin this fascinating hobby and usually doomed to failure. Bonsai is not about 'owning' bonsai plants, but rather the enjoyment of caring for them and especially creating them."

In a way this came as a rather big relief to me. If the art of Bonsai was going to be the metaphor for my life path, I was most relieved to know that I was not expected to arrive at perfection in an instant. I was destined to follow an authentic journey where there would be pruning and training involved. Sounded good to me. In bonsai the state of the roots are a very important factor in the end result of your bonsai tree and I would say that it is also so in life. If you are firmly grounded, with support and structure to guide you, you will weather the training and pruning that will bring you fulfillment.

Whatever area in life we are tackling, wherever you might find yourself, whether it be in the dormant stage of your "tree" or in the pruning stage, (which is quite painful by the way) let us bear in mind the end product. A beautifully trained bonsai, not just and instant, fix-it-all experience, but a journey of turning your life into something beautiful, into a work of art.

Does that make you feel uncomfortable, talking about yourself as a piece of art? If it does, know this, you are a work of art, and you get to choose the colors of your palette.

My favorite quote from Brent Walston about the art of bonsai is this:

"Nobody said it was going to be fast or easy, but it is fascinating and addictive. If you have the dedication, it can be done."

That applies to the 'art' of life too. Let's enjoy the journey shall we?

STEP TWO - Get moving

 

From Forest To Bonsai

This is the story of my personal journey out of the forest...towards the simplicity I crave symbolized by bonsai. 

 

You can only read up and research for so long before it is time to take the first baby steps towards implementing your strategy toward a more simplified life.

One key was understanding how I had landed myself in the "forest" in the first place. (Forest - meaning mess and clutter)

By Debbie Stanley

 In Debbie Stanley's book, Organize your Home In No Time she identifies some reasons why we find ourselves in the forest. A liberating revelation was that not everyone is naturally organized. Well I should have figured that one out on my own, but what really struck me was when she pointed out that people with natural organizing skills are no better than me. (What a relief.) Furthermore she explained that there was nothing wrong with me for not knowing how to do so.( More relief)

Some things that impact our organizational skills are things like: life experiences (Was your mother OCD?); Childhood Trauma;  Personality Traits, Acquisitiveness; Perfectionism; Poverty Mentality; Health Factors; AD/HD and Learning disabilities, OCD ( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Don't we all suffer from that to some degree?); Depression and Fatigue and Pain Causing Diseases. To this list can be added more physical reasons, such as Mobility Limitations and Brain Injury.

Fortunately I could not use the "Brain Injury" reason as an excuse. It did make me have a long hard think about what my particular reasons might be.

Did you know there are two types of Disorganization according to Betty Stanley, who is a professional Organizer, namely Situational and Chronic Disorganization.

Once I understood the reasons for where I was in my disorganized home, and was honest enough to identify my problem areas and their sources I was ready to tackle the problem. After I changed my outlook, wrestled with my weaknesses and admitted my failings, I was ready to start again. This time equipped with the motivation to start the process of eliminating excess possessions. It was time to get started on that journey out of the so called forest.

What did I do first?

I started with my closet.

• 2 very large black garbage bags of clothes dropped off at the donation bin.

• 3 very large bags passed on to my sister in law.

• 1 microwave donated.

• 1 box of Children's books donated to the School library.

• One large tea set removed from my kitchen in a box ready to go. 

•  3 Very large bags of garbage to the curb on garbage day. 

 Then I tackled the mess at my back door. I wish I had have taken "before " pictures.

I cleaned underneath my sink, and sorted out my kitchen centre island drawers which had become a "catch all" for so many different items. The quest to "find things a home" had begun.

You know I always heard that saying, but never really understood it until now.

I still have a way to go, but I love PROGRESS! I even learned what a "Meta Decision" is, do you know?

Start Here

As you may know, the catalyst to my journey to a simplified life was born out of frustration and discontent. Negative emotions they might be, but in this case with a positive effect. It is hard to believe that I could be discontent even though I had so much, but there you have it, I was discontent.

I knew that I was spending way too much time on things that did not matter. I am easily distracted, particularly if the thing that is distracting me is more fun and exciting that the thing I should be doing.

To be honest I had never really come across minimalism as a lifestyle. I had stumbled upon minimalism as an art form, but not really as a way of life. Now I wonder if I had been on another planet for the last 10 years? Oh no, wait, I was too busy trying to collect stuff.

I am not sure how I started reading "The Minimalists" blogs, ( perhaps through reading The Flinch by Julien Smith?) but I did and I loved their message. It struck a resonating chord with me that I just could not shake.

Once I realized I wanted to pursue a more minimalist lifestyle, how was I going to go about it?

I started reading.

I read:

Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

Organize Your Home In No Time by Debbie Stanley

Simplify by Joshua Becker

The Winter Road by Andy Frecka

Each of these books urged me on to take the first steps toward what I craved, a life without distraction.

Is my blog just going to be another minimalist blog? Not entirely...

This simplicity is a means to an end, to something greater. It is a pathway I must tread in order to  fulfill my role in making a difference and being relevant in my world.

Why? So that I can live the life I was created to live without compromise, without distraction.

Joshua and Ryan talk about "adding value" to other people's lives and that is what I want.

I believe Everyone has a story to tell....

I usually tell other people's stories, but this time, here and now, it is time to tell my own. Perhaps you are traveling the same journey and need to know that you are not alone?

From Forest To Bonsai

FROM FOREST TO BONSAI

It all started when I came to realise that "trying harder" wasn't the solution.

I was lost in the forest and all I could see was trees...but no way out.

I was spending too much time cleaning, washing and maintaining my stuff which was frustrating me no end. I would often hesitate to invite friends over at the spur of the moment because It would mean a few hours of tidying up.

"I have to try harder," I would say to myself. If I am just a little more organised I can beat this. It did not work. After a cleaning spree the house would survive one or two days before the downward spiral into chaos once again overwhelmed me.

The ironic thing is that I am a writer and I can't work when the house is a mess. As a result if the house was untidy I would feel as creative or as motivated as a rock on the beach. This had to end. I wanted to continue to pursue my passion for writing, travelling and living life and my stuff was getting in the way of it all. My creative juices were being sucked up by the sponge of consumerism and abundance.

Primarily I wanted to prune down my life and simplify it so that I could pour my life and energies into that which was more worthwhile. To do that, there had to be a change and I knew it had to be a change at the very core of my being.

And so the journey began. Some would call what I seek idealistic, others have already achieved their goal of living a minimalistic life. To those who thrive on material gain, what I am doing will seem pointless and confusing. This is my personal struggle with letting go of the things that weigh me down.

There have been those who have guided me on this path and as I go forward I will share with you what I learn from them. Everyone's journey is different.

One day I tweeted a few of these mentors. 

"When I reach my goal of living in minimalism, I'm buying myself the ultimate symbol of minimalism, a bonsai." 

Julien Smith's reply was: 

"The ultimate irony."

At first I laughed at the irony. And then it hit me....

Here I was stuck in the forest, when I yearned for the simplicity of one lone bonsai. Suddenly I knew where I was going and how I was going to get there.

Joshua Becker, who has been a tremendous inspiration welcomed me into the minimalist fold by saying: 

"Melony. You'll love intentionally living with less. Let me know how we can help in your journey."

With support like that, how could I fail?

Another person I greatly admire is Joshua Fields Millburn and when I gave him a mini progress report on my beginnings of this journey, his reply was: "That's outstanding. Congrats."

So it is with the support I will need that I venture into my quest to go from overwhelming forest to simple bonsai. 

From Forest To Bonsai

A Journey from Forest to Bonsai

 

A Journey

From Forest To Bonsai

This is the story of my personal journey out of the forest...towards the simplicity I crave symbolized by bonsai.